We rented the movie “he’s just not that into you”, the gf and I had a kind of in home movie date and didn’t expect much but a few laughs. We had some good laughs with this flick, and I enjoyed seeing them expose some of the dating myths and realities in this movie.
The dating realities were spot on, a bartneder explains to a desperate girl that someone not calling her is a sign that he doesn’t want to see her again. She ends up doing some “I’ll just show up where he hangs out stalking, trying to get a second date” and we see how it plays out. The guy that had went out with her is really still interested in his ex. There is more straightforward advice handed out by this male bartender who is a classic dating player and gives some honesty to the desperate girl who keeps putting her hopes on guys that really don’t care for her.
I really enjoyed the parts that showed some of the early programming that happens to many of us. They show a childhood scene in the beginning where a young girl is taught that boys being mean, actually means that are interested and like the girl.
I think the quote was:
We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.
Perhaps this is one reason why so many women today only respond to men when they blow them off, or treat them poorly. Of course the video scene of the playground incident really made it make sense at the time, yet very poor advice for adults to determine their intimate relationship options.
Friends shouldn't take dating advice from friends
One quote that reminded how difficult it can be to communicate with people given the vast amount of contact points we have with various technology went something like:
I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.
This is a common communication problem these days in general, and one of the things that obviously can make dating more challenging. I have to categorize people mentally with the best and most consistent way of getting in touch. Some friends understand if I don’t get back to a text message for a day or two, some girls I know expect a reply very quickly. Some people will never respond to a text from me, but will be best communicated with via instant messaging.
When it comes to dating, an email or text message that is replied to works fine, but for day-of-the-date information, nothing in my minds beats an actual phone call and voicemail if necessary.
All in all, a great movie for singles to see dating mistakes, and a good movie for couples to get some laughs and enjoy the warm fuzzy “they made it and fell in love” feeling that Hollywood tries to bring in all romantic comedies.
A great reminder this movie is, that taking dating advice from friends is a bad idea. I found more truth in books, and found that my miserable friends’ advice would only lead to more misery. Check out the movie “He’s just not that into you” for more proof of that concept.