So what do you do when you find yourself getting jealous in a new relationship? Perhaps there are different ways to deal with jealousy depending upon how long you’ve been dating, perhaps there are different types of jealousy depending upon the relationship and what lifestyle and work situation different people are dealing with?
When I feel the feelings of jealousy I try to look at myself and my own insecurities first. If it’s a worry about money or material things I realize that I am worried about my ability to provide a good lifestyle for my mate and jealousy can arise from my own insecurities. There are several ways to fix that one, and they all have to deal with my self.
I then wonder if the girl I am in love with will be looking for bigger and better opportunities, it seems to be a popular thing in today’s over connected high speed world where women can make many contacts with little effort. Then I wonder if I am projecting my own past issues into the current situation. Certainly just because I have been with some shady women in the past who were liars and cheats only using me as a stepping stone to get further and onto other more fruitful financial relationships, I should give this one an honest chance without that baggage. Or maybe I should be looking more critical and do have many reasons to be concerned about women in general having the opportunities surrounding them to move up in the financial ladder of relationships. There are other blog posts and articles talking about how this is more true today than ever (See Steve’s answer to the question).
If I spend every waking hour working and trying to get more and more money, perhaps I will never reach a level where I am not worried about a lover looking to others who may be more well off. Perhaps spending years earning lots of money will leave me in a position where I will worry than a lover may be looking to others who spend more time working out and getting a strong body.
Perhaps I will always worry about not being good enough, or perhaps I will always worry about women using, lieing and cheating no matter how much time I put into making money, or maintaining looks and character. Am I doomed to be a product of my past failed relationships? Will I ever be able to trust completely. Will these issues be fixed within myself? Will I ever find someone who will be there for me no matter what?
Why can’t everyone be honest, and why does this issue have to constantly mess with me? I will write more on this later.