• Fantasy and Reality 21.05.2016

    Those three words – “I love you” – to some they are everything, to some they are nothing.

    Look, many people have some narrow definition of what these words should mean when they are said. For me, “I love you” does not mean I love only you, and you are my everything now and forever. Sure they could mean that – and maybe some people want some kind of fairy tail love that embodies all those things. Maybe I might even feel that way right now, and tomorrow, but lets be honest. Loving each other is generally a variable thing.

    You say you love her, but are you “in love” with her?


    Okay, so those who live in this fantasy world of what I love you means, do have a saying that embodies that love can flexible, or change, or mean different things at different times. Cool.

    Look, if I love you, it means I care about your immensely. Can you accept that? No need to reciprocate. No need to define that I am saying that but don’t really mean it. Hey maybe I don’t mean it the way you’d like to define it; if you hear it, or if you say it – maybe it has a different meaning that way you prefer to use it. That’s cool, but there is no need to diminish my feelings, or my expressing these feelings by saying anything.

    No need to love me back – that’s cool too. I can love you even if you don’t like me. I can love you if you never see me again, in fact my love for you might last longer if we don’t ever see one another again.

    So how do we gauge this love thing? I love my neighbor, my enemies. Well that should not make the love I have for you seem less. Certainly the love I have for you is more intense, and includes much more.

    Perhaps we need new words – but then what when things change. I mean I’ve seen it happen. Loving someone immensely – and the feelings change. Even if they have done nothing wrong – these ‘feelings’ in the brain are said to change, some science has said they disappear completely after 4 years with a partner.

    Is it Indians that have a dozen words and phrases for sunset? It could be lack of available words, maybe it’s lack of understanding these words and assuming that they should mean what hollywood or storybooks portray.

    Honestly. I can love you and love past lovers. I can love you and love another. I could love you and only you forever. Saying I love you does not mean any of these things, it’s just me expressly and acknowledging at this moment I have love for you. I could also have deep desires, and longing for physical intimacy – but those would be different words and phrases to include all those things.

    More on this later in a different post. Surely I am not the only one who has run into this conundrum – you feel love, want to express it – then worry if they other person will not reciprocate, or will no understand what you mean. Should I need to clarify after an “I love you”‘ slips out – hey that does not mean I love you and only you and forever and none other. I think that is what some want to here (the opposite of that perhaps!) – so should a qualifier even be necessary. Sigh. Random thoughts in which I have no answers at the moment.

    Here’s to love, and the confusion that the word can bring.

    Posted by adult @ 6:24 am for Fantasy and Reality |

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