• Just read an interesting article about TV and movies giving bad expectations for relationships – and causing people to expect more, and want to be single the more they indulge in the romantic televisions and movie fantasies. Of course this makes sense to me, and I am glad to see another author bringing this, and having a recent study to shed some more light on this subject. enchanted-movie-poster

    Throughout the years I have always thought that the fake bullshit in Hollywood romance is truly bad for men. I suppose it’s bad for men and women, but I feel that men are getting the shorter end of this stick, as the audience and subsequent beliefs that come from watching all these perfect people and people situations in fantasy movies and TV shows is more apt to effect more women, and thus cause more strife for the men who can never re-create those perfect moments that are shown in the various media outlets.

    Everything in the movies and TV shows pisses me off when it comes to creating those false expectations. Professional makeup, professional lighting effects, camera angles that make people seem taller, the perfect music at just the right time, even the seemingly awesome locations are a thing of fantasy – very rarely are any, much less all of these things possible in reality. Sure you could get a professional makeover, and try to  make it so that you court your love interest in the right lighting – but the movies not only get all kinds of professionals to handle this for them – they also get the ability to re-shoot a scene, and edit out the angles that make people seem less attractive – and then there is post processing that takes the stark, hard lit scenes and turns them into dimmer lit, seductive viewing material.

    We can certainly learn from some of these Hollywood tricks, and apply them in our lives as much as possible, but there are limits. I will be adding some of these tips in my next book, how to take the good things from professionals and apply them to the bedroom and beyond, but some things are just impossible. Let’s take a scene I remember from some years back, I am not sure of the movie or the actors, but I think it had Sandra Bullock at a lake with some kind of picnic. The Hollywood effects made it seem the perfect setting for getting closer with a lover, so I tried to re-create that with my girlfriend at the time.

    Even if you put together all the ingredients, you are likely not going to get the music and sounds the same, much less the other things you can not control. In the movie the romance was perfect in that scene, in our real life there were many things that were not in the final edited version of that movie, that’s for sure! First thing I remember is the extra noise – there were some kids playing across the lake and those sound echoed. Then there was a dog barking for a while that made it impossible to carry on a conversation, much less whisper sweet somethings intimately to the one you love.  Then came the bugs. There were a few bugs crawling on the ground that made it up and over our picnic blanket after a while. Have some sweet wine at the lake – looks good on TV – in real life, bees love that stuff. Yeah, the bees, the mosquitoes, the uncontrollable wind gusts, the noise, the lack of privacy – it turned out to be one annoying and frustrating trip.

    Hey, I’ve got the picnic basket in the garage, if you want to shoot a romantic lake scene, we can get some help from some soft lighting filters, edit the audio after the shoot, have makeup done, and practice our lines – we could make a decent romantic video with some fake wine so the bees do not ruin it, and with some tricky filming and editing, post it on facebook so the world thinks we had the time of our life – but the reality is that these things are more often than not a fantasy only possible with effects and editing – not reality.

    This also reminds me of the recent study about the facebook side of life that people share, and how others can believe that their friends are genuinely happy all the time, without the troubles in life that most experience. Reality TV is fake as well – and gives people license to act in ways that they probably shouldn’t, and like wouldn’t if not given the safeguards that come with a film crew watching over you. Many things in the movies appear awesome – but don’t make that your expectation from the one you love – know that the two of you could create that stuff will all the professionals helping to create it – but enjoy the moments you get. You don’t have to be at a beach with the perfect breeze to relax with your partner and tell them you enjoy being with them.

    Posted by Steven @ 10:00 pm for dating mistakes, Fantasy and Reality |

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