Adult Stories, and Advice

Not sure that this will stick, I myself am not a big fan of the word “chexting” – sounds to me more like serving up cereal than being descriptive of text-cheating. None-the-less, national news stories are talking about chexting, and linking this term to Tiger Woods and Jesse James (the guy that is currently married to Sandra Bullock). I am a big fan of the word sexting, as it is descriptive; texting sex. i am pretty sure that sexting will stay in our vocabulary for years to come.

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It wasn’t that long ago that we didn’t even have texting in our regular vocab, and now texting and e-mail are common words that most people use or at least understand, even it is only to say that they don’t use those technologies and don’t intend to. I had a friend that really never “texted” with his cell phone, and made jokes about people who did use that cell phone sms for regular communication. That was until he started dating his current girlfriend, and then we chuckled at his use of texting many times an hour, and welcomed him to the 20th century. Sexting is fun, and flirting with text messages can certainly big a big motivator for people to start using this quick form of communication, and also a good reason for people to move to an unlimited text cell phone plan.

Now people are calling it chexting when you are doing the flirting with someone who are you are not married, or otherwise committed to. While I am not a big fan of the word, I do welcome the discussion about using various types of technology and what is considered cheating. I do firmly believe that using any technology, whether it’s a phone, an email, even snail mail – if you are having an emotional or sexual relationship with someone else, even if it is only in cyberspace, you should be single, or not in a committed relationship, unless your partner is aware of it. Certainly if you are swingers or trying to hookup with a threesome you probably have license to do some flirting via texts and other means. But like my friend Stacy once told me, “if your partner would not be happy reading what you are writing, you probably shouldn’t be writing to someone else.” – Of course she was talking about dating and people of the opposite sex, and it makes sense to me.

I have written about these issues in previous posts, just click the tags below to find them. I am glad to see the discussion continuing to get mainstream media attention, and I encourage couples to discuss these issues. Definitely better get it figured out before someone stumbles upon a dirty text or email, or worse does some digital spying and finds it. You better know how your partner will react to what you are writing before they flip out and you get the info subpoenaed in a divorce court.

Chexting is extra dangerous for flirts and cheaters. since you really don’t have any way to permanently erase them, you can’t control what they other person will or won’t do with them, and you have no control over what the phone companies do with them. You get similar problems with emails. Chexting itself could cost you the relationship, even if you never did anything physical, I have broken up with people over it. Chexting is also an easy way to get caught cheating. some people liken it to lipstick on the collar.