Adult Stories, and Advice

Interesting article found via the Tennessean, originally from a USA today writer, asks the question of what to call the person you are intimately involved with, when you are over 25. I agree that boyfriend and girlfriend may sound childish when you are over 30 in some circles and social situations.

Photo © R.Bauer objectifs.de

When I first read the article I disagreed completely with “lover sounds too explicit” – I think lover is a great term to use when describing the person I am sharing my sexual side with. However after some reflection, I guess lover may not be the best term to use of I was introducing someone at a charity fund raiser with associates from mutual fund companies or similar situations. So the article is right, we do need to discuss terms that should be used to describe our relations when we are dating over 30 – I think the linguistic professors interviewed are looking for a word, when in reality I think we need to come up several words.

We also need to have more communication with out partners about what they think of when they hear certain words, and how they feel about being labeled boyfriend or Beau or SO or whatever in different situations.

Some numbers in the article I found were quite unexpected, but it really does show the need for more talk about this issue (and many others for that matter, including thoughts about new types of marriage or relationship contracts – but that’s for another blog).

According to the most recent Census data, 42 percent of U.S. residents – about 92 million Americans 18 and older – are unmarried. More than 30 million live alone, making up 27 percent of all households; that’s up from 17 percent of all households in 1970.

The number of unmarried opposite-sex couples who live together has also increased to 5 million households.

“People are living longer,” Zwicky says. “People are divorcing more. One member of a couple is alone after a spouse dies. People who might not have been on the sexual marketplace years ago now find themselves in it or choosing not to go into it. Now, it’s an issue for a lot of people.”

I guess I find different terms to use in different social situations when introducing my date, but often times I just use her name, and I assume everyone will figure it out from watching how we interact with each other. Right now I am prefering the term “lover”, but that may change.

What do you call your significant other? And what would you like to be called?