For many people some kind of social clock gets ticking, about being married before you are 40. Sure there are benefits to getting married, but there are also drawbacks, then there is the societal pressure to contend with. A new study suggests however that the never married category of people may actually be ultra-independent and well adjusted, where marriage may not be the best course for us.
dating at 40 and loving it
I feel the pressure sometime, thankfully not from my family though! Society does put a kind of expectation on us. By the mid thirties I started seeing it all around me, friends not only got married and had kids (many of them also divorced), but they now had teenagers. Dinner conversations included tax benefits for marriage, and of course we were eating at a restaurant that had specials for kids. Business meetings sometimes turned to cell phone photo showing off parties of kids and parties. Being the only one in a room full of people without a wedding ring makes some guys nervous, some people even whisper wonders of the unmarried being gay. Even hollywood portrays movies about getting married and what happens if you don’t. Lonely and bored – I don’t think so.
There have been studies that say people live longer and healthier when married, but those studies were skewed to some degree. This new study actually looked at people differently, rather than married or un-married, it looked at married, divorced, and never-been married. It found that many people who had never been married are actually quite well adjusted. Better off emotionally and in other areas compared to the married people.
It’s an interesting article at health day. I am really happy to be never married, never divorced and loving myself for it. I am in love with another, and sure marriage is something that we could decide to do, but we don’t need to. Maybe one day – who knows. I do know that I enjoy having my independence, I enjoy keeping good friends and not losing myself into a relationship that could end badly and cause me to wonder where I went.
Still dating at 40? I sure hope so, I intend to be dating at 50 and beyond. Hopefully sharing love and lust with several wonderful people. Of course it could turn out that marriage happens one day, but then again, I could become a monk and never date, marry or have sex again. I refuse to put blinders on and follow what everyone else thinks I should do. Things change, some things stay the same. So far I am ecstatic with the life I have chosen. How about you?