• Dating Help 10.03.2009

    really enjoyed reading this article about online dating. I found the article through my rss feed reader – it was published on the lansing state journal, and the info is from the author of Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love

    I found these tips in the article linked to above, but I have rewritten most of them in my words as I want put my thoughts into these tips – they are the same things I have told many of you already, but some people find a ten step list to be an effective way to get motivated to get it going, so here ya go.

    1- Prioritize finding love.

    Many people procrastinate – and prefer to enjoy creature comforts and make up excuses for being too busy to find people to date.

    2 -Work two online dating sites.

    I agree that working more than one dating site is important. I prefer to work three sites at the same time, but my interests are pretty varied, and I have the time to do that. For many people sending and answering possible dating emails on two sites may be all they can handle.

    3 – Your online photo needs to pop.

    advice of having someone shoot 100 new pictures of you and picking your favorites along with asking friends of the opposite sex pick their favorites, is good advice. Often I see flaws in a picture of myself that other pople do not, and sometimes what I think looks good, girls think otherwise. So take the advice of getting a bunch of new photos and let your friends help you pick the one to have for your main profile picture.
    4 -Open the door for more.

    After a date – send a text or email and tell them that you enjoyed spending time with them and let them know that the door is open for more good times. Something as simple as “had a good time, let’s do it again sometime” is good. Adding in something specific that you all had in common like a funny joke or music or something is even better.

    5 – Go on the dating program of 3.

    Date three people at the same time without having sex with any of them. By not seeing any one too often, you find the ones who are really into you. You also build self-esteem and find mates that are much more fulfilling. (You tell all of them on the second date you are taking it slow and seeing others. The great ones will stay the course!) ~ Dr. Diana Kirschner

    6 – Go where the odds are good.

    Get involved in other activities that you don’t normally get into. Take a class where there are more people of the opposite sex. Guys take some dance classes, girls take some finance classes. Guys get into some flower or gardening seminars or classes. Girls join some sports groups. You get the picture. This is good for multiple reasons, the odds are higher for finding more of the opposite sex, but it also gives you a lot to talk about and ask questions, which is good for dating. It doesn’t due either of you a lot of good to already know everything that you could talk about.

    7 – Meet new people.

    I know, you already know this, why is this on the list? Well it’s more about opening yourself up to meet new people. Say hello to people everywhere you go, and ask them how they are doing. Then listen to their answer. If you can say something about something they are wearing or doing. You’d be amazed with how many people you can meet by simply listening to an answer. I can see it right away that someone becomes much more interested in me when they realize that not only have I asked them how they are doing, but I looked at them and listened for a response showing genuine interest in it. Simple and very effective – do it!

    8 – Date against type.

    Most people do not find love with the type of person they imagine for themselves. The guy who only wants a petite blonde winds up with a brainy brunette. The woman who dates starving artists marries a rich, balding lawyer. Look at photos and profiles that you would ordinarily take a quick pass on. Try and experiment. You may be very happily surprised! ~ Dr. Diana Kirschner

    9 – Go for a second date.

    Go on a second date with someone, even if you are not blown away by them on the first date. I’ve seen many people who end up getting much more interested in someone after the second or third date, even if the first date made them think it was a waste of time. Remember the other person is probably quite nervous and bound to make some mistakes including talking too much or not talking enough on the first date, yet by the second and third date some of that nervousness wears off and you can start to connect more – or not, but you won’t know until you’ve gone out a few times. Even if it doesn’t work out, it’s still good practice to date, and it also helps you to hone in on what you want and don’t want in future dating situations.

    10 – rewrite that profile

    I’ve seen so many people write the dumbest online dating profiles it blows me away. Don’t just rewrite it, research what other people are writing, and ask your friends to write one for you. You could also hire a dating coach to help with this, it is a very important part of the online dating process! Your picture and profile information are your first impression online, so let other people help you make it the best.

    Posted by Steven @ 10:42 pm for Dating Help |

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